


To: Mark, From Sean

by Blepbean



Series: Last Notes [2]
Category: Septiplier - Fandom, jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, M/M, REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LOL I NEED THAT SWEET DEATH, Secrets, Suicide Notes, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm angst, im sorry, lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-15 00:32:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13601754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blepbean/pseuds/Blepbean
Summary: Who knew a single letter revealed so much secrets about Sean.





	To: Mark, From Sean

**Author's Note:**

> Ok have this bullshit, idk y I don't reallly like this peace, unlike the other piece this one feels weird, idk :/ btw this letter is like in the past b4 u know he... bit the dust  
> Anyways its out unlike me in the closet HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :^)  
> KUDOS, COMMENTS AND FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED <3

To Mark  
Hey, Mark, it’s me. Sean, I really don’t think I should send this letter to you, in fact, I’m going to put this on my will. Because I’ve overheard nurses talking about that ‘I will bite the dust soon.  
There’s so much I want to tell you, Mark… on how beautiful you are, or how way out of league you are for me.  
_You’re just perfect… too perfect, and I really don’t deserve you…_  
And I know that you hurt me, and I know you sometimes rage at me… but I’m still with you? Right? _it’s just… you’re intoxicating… you’re too good_  
And I know I shouldn’t be with you, with our unhealthy relationships. And I know you still love me, I can feel it when you said to me that you said sorry to me, for millions of times I can still tell you love me.  
_And that… pains me_  
Because Mark, I don’t deserve you, you don’t deserve me. I want to love you, but I really can’t, I can’t even love myself, cause the fact that the so-called ‘shot that almost killed me’...  
_Was… actually me…_  
I didn’t tell anyone that it was actually me who shot myself… I was too scared since everyone will leave me.  
Cause Mark… I can’t even love myself, I almost took my own life, I almost died. Because I’m such a burden to everyone, and that is hurting me.  
I hate how I make trouble for everyone, how much of a burden I am. From me having a mental breakdown at PAX and you had to calm me down in front of the whole crowd and I was really red in the face when it was happening, I can still feel the warmth of you, how tight you hugged me.  
Or that one time I almost killed you, when you were hitting me out of your anger, and I accidentally pushed you onto the wall so hard… you cracked your head open.  
See Mark, see how much of a burden I am, I can’t even take care of my own self.  
Mark…. I’m sorry for blinding you, that the fact that you ‘need me’ is all a lie. I’m just… not good enough for you, really.  
And me needing you, is really all a lie. _Everything that I knew… is a lie_  
I’m Sorry, I’m Sorry, I’m sorry for everything, Sorry for everything that I caused you. You’re a great guy, it’s just I don’t deserve you, _I don’t deserve anyone…_  
Mark, you have a special place in my heart, no matter how much I hated myself, cried, the number of restless nights I have had because I kept telling myself that I wasn’t good enough for you.  
_I’m sorry… Mark, you’re too good for me_  
I don’t know how we ended up together, somehow I ended up with you, since you’re way out of my league, how perfect you are and I look so broken besides you, I wouldn’t even blame you Mark.  
_I was breaking, while you didn’t realise while your words hurt me while I lay in my pain_  
You’re just _intoxicating_ … too good for me, like a _drug_. But I didn’t mind that really, I was blinded by that as you hit me, said sorry to me a million times after that while I forgive you over and over again.  
But Mark… I really do love you, from the times where it was peaceful, carried me into your arms and took care of me. I want to say thank you…  
My hands are shaking, I can feel something, my eyelids are getting heavier, I’m feeling really tired of all of a sudden. Like I just want to sleep forever, I think I’ll stop writing.  
From, Sean.  
But I still love you, Mark, sorry if I end up breaking your heart. You don’t deserve it.


End file.
